It ain't easy being Steezy

I know

you called me a gentleman but I have to be honest.. I was staring at your butt every time you bowled.. You look so beautiful all the time. I hope you have such a great time in Durango! I will miss you :]]

I do understand. like I said I was just being dumb. but I need to work on telling you. I was wrong to tell you to not tell  me. because it is all important.

Nothing was your fault. im glad im done smoking and if I could have just yelled at you and been mad that morning enstead of holding it in to myself that day wouldve been so much better. but it was my problems. no yours

The past can’t be your passion

that’s from an escape the fate song and I love you for quoting it. you probably didn’t know, but I know you heard it from me. <3

I get mad

for such dumb reasons. Today you stopped talking to me for 3 hours, then texted me once, only to say you were going t b gone for another 2. which Is of course fine, you shouldn’t have an obligation to talk to me. but at the time it upset me so much. this was a huge problem, and that’s the only reason I am telling you this. I used to get upset over such stupid things, but never tell you. even if they are dumb and I blow them off, just like I did this, I would much rather tell you than do something I regret. I felt like you didn’t want to talk to me, and was jut being nice, and then you were over it so you just stopped. I don’t need an explanation why you didn’t text back. im over it and batter now :] but if we ever do end up together again I need to tell you when im upset, even if its little. not so you can say sorry, or feel bad, or even to talk about it. It was something I was never good at. and it was a huge part in the downfall of our relationship. so im changing it. like I said, dont be sad or upset or feel bad. I just have to tell you because you deserve the truth. it hurt my feelings. but im ok now. I cant wait to see you and how beautiful you will be tomorrow.

I was already almost to jordo’s today after work. I just love seeing your face.

My fucking god

you are beautiful.

I am so weak..

I know you wont, and shouldn’t.. but I just wish we could be together. one more night.. but when I say that I want 2, or 3, or the rest of my life. all I can think about Is your skin on mine. your lips on mine. I miss you so much. : [ I just want to be invincible. I don’t wanna wait. You aren’t weak enough to give in… and I love how strong you are. but I wish you would. I want to be weak and vulnerable with you. I want to buy you the universe. anything and everything. I want to hold you for so long. Its all I can think about :[ Just be with me. you shouldn’t.. but I am selfish enough that even though I know you souldnt, I want it more than anything.

I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t treat you right. I am saving money because I cant wait to spend it on you. I may have forced you to go, but I didn’t leave you. Friends may not have feelings like this but you don’t have a choice.I need a friend. so do you. I want to be here for you we youre having problems. and I need the same. I told you Im not getting with girls. :] you first. I understand you cant trust me. how could you. but please stay strong. im sad all the time. but im hands down depressed when im not talking to you.  you are wonderful. but I am not leaving. until you tell me to.